I meant to write soon an update but to tell you the truth it Has not been easy the last 4 months. I had to change the dose of the anxiety medication 3 times. Then I had to change my depression medication 3 times as well. I was very sick with lots of side effects adjusting to the medication and finally at the end of November we were able to find the right dose for the anxiety and the right medicine for my depression. Thanks to my brother who was doing rotation in psychiatry he learned in class that if there are other cases of depression or anxiety in the family the same medication might work for all the family members. Thats the case with me, on my mom side of the family there is a lot of depression and anxiety. So I started taking the same medicine my aunt and my mom take and it worked well with me. No side effects only good results. You can not imagine how happy I was. I thought I was not going to travel this year. To be honest I didn’t want to. It’s been some really hard months. But I know it’s for the best.
November was better. I finally started going to CrossFit again. It was so hard at the beginning because I was taking a medicine that sedated me all day so I had no strength. And it was very frustrating because I felt everything I had been working on Crossfit all year was gone. But I tried having a normal life regardless of how I was feeling. Specially with David. I would have to take several naps a day to have the energy to do things with him. But now with the last medication they gave me I feel back to normal. I was able to travel, took David to New York and we had a really fun adventure together like old times. It was so much fun. I need to write about that some other time.
But let me tell you, taking medication doesn’t mean everything is fixed. I still have my bad moments. Last time I had an anxiety attack was on Tuesday . There are some things that trigger it and I try controlling it but is so hard sometimes. The medication is nice because it helps when I have crisis too.
But I can see life getting better. I no longer have suicide thoughts like I used to. That was horrible. I would cry because I didn’t wanted to have those thoughts in my mind. My eating habits are back to normal. I no longer feel the need to eat everything I see because of the anxiety and my mood is so much better too.
There are still some little things I struggle with. But I know the medication is not supposed to fix all my life. I know I will still struggle with some things and that’s how life is.
I just want to say I am so thankful for my friend Nils, who was so open about this subject. He helped me to make the decision to take medication. And I am grateful for that. I am grateful that he was so open about the subject, talking about his own experience with anxiety and depression and that helped me so much. I feel like there is this taboo where people think talking about this subject makes you look like you are weak, or crazy. But is not like that. Like I have mentioned before you are just sick, is like saying you are sick with gastrointestinal problems or dealing with other health problems. There is nothing to be embarrassed.
Lets all be more open about the subject and like my friend Nils said that will make it easier for all of us to help each other. I am also so thankful for all my friends who have shown a lot of support.
I have never been embarrassed about my situation. I know in my family is hereditary to have these problems and I am always happy sharing my experience with others. Hopefully I can help someone just like my friend did with me.